I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
