Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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