RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
