i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
