she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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