Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
