Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
