why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
