You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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