they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
jump out the window naked night went bad
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