Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my being single is dangerous.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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