hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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