yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
