If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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