hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
