On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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