so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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