My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
