Ambien. No doubt about it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
