It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He better not be in your backpack
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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