Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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