I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
