I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
