But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
