Dude my mom stole all your condoms
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
