I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
