fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We're too hungover to prance.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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