I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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