remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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