If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just found puke in my bra..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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