in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize