I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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