After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize