I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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