Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
