shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize