When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
