Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
