Whod you bang
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize