if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
