i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
