I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
