Only a mothe r could love this liver
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize