some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
