You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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