Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
