TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize