Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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