My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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