I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You pole danced in your parka.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
