oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
