oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
