Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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