so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i've created a new STD.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
