She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
