Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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