Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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