4 words: hood of his car
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
