dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
