How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
